Just about every time I see a new couple for marriage counseling they tell me that they’ve had enough. They say that they’ve been having problems for so long that they finally just can’t take it anymore. When I hear this, I have to ask how long they’ve been having problems for. And just about every couple tells me that they’ve been having these problems for at least a year now. A lot of couples say they’ve had problems for even five years or more…some their whole marriage.
Seeing a Counselor is Like Seeing a Dentist
I get it. Going to see a counselor is like going to see a dentist. Nobody really wants to go. It’s not a very fun experience. Some people even feel embarrassed. And they especially don’t want to talk to a stranger about their problems.
So instead, people will try just about anything before they see a counselor. They’ll talk to trusted friends, take a vacation, read books, etc. These are okay. In fact, I think that every couple should do these things regardless of how good or bad their relationship is so they can always be improving their relationship. But who better to ask about relationship difficulties that a trained professional?
You Talk to Your Friends, Why Not a Counselor Too?
If you’re having problems in your relationship enough to talk to your friends about it, why not talk to a trained professional, too? Sure, you might not think that your relationship problems are “that bad” yet but that’s the point. The best time to go see a counselor is before the problems become “that bad”. Once they become “that bad” then it takes a lot more time and effort in a counselor’s office to fix them. Plus, if you wait until they become “that bad” there’s usually a lot of damage done to your relationship in the mean time. You can spare yourself and your relationship a lot of pain and anguish by going to see a counselor sooner than later.
I agree that not every problem in a relationship warrants marriage counseling. But there’s nothing wrong with going to see a counselor just in case as a sort of checkup. If you really don’t need counseling then you can rest assured that the problem you’re having is manageable and you’ll get over it soon enough. If you really do, then you’re getting the help you need early before the problems become too severe and cause a lot of damage. So why wait to see a marriage counselor? Your relationship is worth it.