Navigating the complexities of Kink and BDSM can be both exciting and nerve wracking. Whether you’re exploring new dynamics, seeking to deepen your understanding, a kink therapist can provide invaluable support. If you’re in Thornton, CO, or are seeking virtual therapy in the state of Colorado, our clinician Hunter English LMFT-C, CST can support you in your journey of curiosity.

The purpose of a kink therapist

A kink therapist in Colorado can serve clients in a multitude of ways like entering a new space of sexual curiosity, providing education on safe kink practices, providing a safe space for processing what it may mean to that person to be kinky and it what way, and even exploring the intersection of kink and prior trauma. The list of possibilities when coming in for kink services are endless, and regardless of what tickles your fancy, your exploration should always include a shame free and open space for you, the client.

I see people coming in because they want to explore and enhance their sex life. They want to explore new ways to invigorate themselves, to connect and reconnect. A huge part of the kink therapy space is education. Education on not just what different forms of adult play look like, but how to experiment safely, how to talk to your partner about fantasies, interests, how to negotiate where to start exploring and what everyone is looking to experience. We talk about safety, emotional and physical, and what it looks like to always have that implicit and explicit trust in your partner.

Couples vs Individual Therapy

Whether you may be interested in couples therapy or individual therapy, or both! The roles your kink therapist in Colorado may serve have a lot of similarities, but also some differences.

In couples therapy, your therapist will hold space for you and your partner. Exploring what kink means to each of you, assisting in exploring and discussing boundaries in your chosen dynamic(s), breaking through barriers of discomfort where they may show up. Like most couples therapy, kink focused couples therapy can be a wonderful opportunity to learn how to have these discussions with your partner(s), holding space for thoughts and feelings that may come up that would benefit from a collaborative and compassionate discussion from another. Further, kink therapy with your partner can be a beautiful opportunity for growing together, to be on this journey of exploration and pleasure together.

Individual therapy can be a great space to process thoughts, feelings, and barriers between yourself and the kink or BDSM experiences you would like to start having. For a good number of folks, they got introduced to kink by reading an adult book, watching a movie or show, a partner introduced it formally or informally. For you folks, kink therapy can be an amazing space to explore your curiosities in kink.

Think about;

• What do I want to experience?
• What attracts me to this?
• Is this a solo journey for me?
• Am I looking for physical sensations or psychological experiences?

For other folks, kink can be a tool to reclaim power after abuse. A more delicate process that is encouraged to be facilitated by a qualified professional in Thornton Colorado. To learn more about whether it’s time to see a therapist for sexual abuse, (hyperlink abuse blog). Kink can be a powerful space to find empowerment, reclaim the self, and work through traumas in a safe way.

What if you’re vanilla?

Kink therapy is not reserved for kink clients. Kink is a space of consent, explicit discussions, prioritization of trust, safety, and pleasure/experience focused. It’s a space where intimacy, pleasure, and experiences are completely customizable for you and your partner(s). Bringing these tools and principles into vanilla spaces can be invaluable. Think painful penetration, difficulties with erections, “spicing it up,” or think medication obstacles or injuries (chronic or acute).

What to look for in a kink therapist

When shopping for the right kink therapist for you in Thornton, CO, it’s may be beneficial to keep in mind qualifications. Is this therapist a certified sex therapist or kink therapist? If not, do they have extensive education or experience that result in them being able to competently support you? If you’re coming in with a trauma intersection, perhaps seeking a therapist with that professional intersection as well! Coming in with your partner(s)? Perhaps a couple’s therapist with a sex or kink intersection.

Qualification aside, I would argue it is more important you connect and feel safe with this sex therapist in Colorado. Do they see you? Hear you? Hold a safe space to say what many folks hold shame around? Do you want them to be the person you embark on this journey with and feel self to embody yourself in the fullest in the room with them.

Is it time for you to see one?

When you’re asking yourself the question, “Do I need a kink therapist?” please be sure to keep in mind that therapy can be a proactive process, an immediate want or need. Instead of the stereotype of therapy exploring your past and problems that arise from it, therapy, including kink therapy, can be a proactive process where you get professional insights about current matters that are important to you. Just remember that therapy and kink therapy can be whatever you need to serve you.