Too many couples miss signs that their relationship is in trouble. They go on thinking that they’re just going through a phase in the relationship and that it will end soon enough. The worst part about this is that don’t realize how bad things really are until it’s too late – until there’s been irreparable damage done or one partner wants to separate or. I see a lot of couples who come to me for counseling and say something like “I didn’t realize things were so bad. I just thought it was a rough patch”.
Every relationship goes through rough patches. Even the happiest ones. Lots of couples are able to make it out of the rough spot on their own with a little self-reflection and maybe the help of some friends a good self-help book. But some rough spots aren’t just rough spots. They’re actually signs that your relationship is in trouble. Here are 4 unavoidable signs that your relationship is in trouble that you shouldn’t ignore in your relationship:
4 Warning Signs Your Relationship Is In Trouble
1) Little-to-No Talking. This is perhaps the most obvious one. If you and your spouse are not talking this is a big red warning sign that your relationship is in trouble. Couples need to talk to get out of rough patches. If couples don’t talk, it usually means they find other ways to cope with the problems without including the other. This also means that couples don’t heal from relationship problems together and heal separately instead.
2) Having the Same Bitter Arguments Over and Over Again. Every couple argues. Most couples even have the same arguments over and over again. But if you find that these fights end bitterly every time with no apology or reconciliation, then you’re going through more than just a rough-patch. These feelings of bitterness often become toxic and create bigger problems down the road – in addition to the ones they’ve already caused.
3) Emotional Withdrawal. Emotional withdrawal occurs when you find yourself not wanting to engage emotionally with your partner. For example, if you had something good happen to you at work but you don’t want to talk to your spouse about it then you’re emotionally withdrawing from them. In other words, you’re preemptively depriving them of the opportunity to connect with you. This is harmful to the relationship and some research shows that this could even be the beginning of the end of your relationship.
4) Spiteful Feelings Towards Your Spouse. In a good relationship, you feel excited when your spouse is excited. You feel sad when your spouse is sad. If you ever begin to feel bitter towards your spouse and feel happy that they’re sad or feel excited that they’re having trouble getting their car started that’s a big red flag that you’re going through more than just a rough patch. In fact, this flag alone is a sign that you need to see a counselor quick. These feelings are not normal and are probably leading you to cause more damage that is difficult to overcome on your own.
This list isn’t meant to be exhaustive, but they are four of the more common ones that couples experience. It’s important for you to know the warning signs because often couples don’t know just how bad their relationship is – and how they’re making it harder to repair. If you see these signs act quickly to change them. Find a good self-help book, talk to trusted confidants or see a counselor. It may be embarrassing to admit that your relationship is having difficulties but it’s a lot more embarrassing to tell people you’re getting divorced and getting help is a lot more comfortable than suffering through a difficult marriage.