With the New Year approaching, you’re probably thinking about many things you’d like to change. Maybe you’re thinking about finally getting that gym membership. Or maybe you’re going to take the plunge and finally try that business venture you’ve been thinking about for the last couple of years. Maybe your New Year goals are actually more like resolutions
where you want to resolve certain things you don’t like in your life. Unfortunately, one area that many people don’t
think of when they think of New Year resolutions is resolutions in their marriage. But this is perhaps one of the most important arena of resolutions because your marriage is one of the most important things to you. And you want to make sure it’s as healthy and fun for the both of you as possible.
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times. No relationship is perfect. That means that every relationship could use a little work. Even if your marriage is fine, there are always things you can to do to make it better. Regardless of how good or bad your marriage is, there’s always room for improvement. And the best part is, the improvement in your relationship only makes your relationship better! So below are some resolutions for your relationship this new year to help make it stronger.
Reach Out to Your Spouse More Often
Every relationship has spells where you’re interacting with each other more out of habit and routine than out of sincere interest in each other. For example you routinely ask “How was your day?” To which your spouse routinely responds “It was good, how was yours?” Then you go on to talk about something the kids did that was interesting or something that needs to be done around the house.
“Regardless of how good your marriage is, there’s always room for improvement”
While these habitual spells are okay to have once in a while, it’s not good to stay in them for any extended length of time. So instead of accepting the mundane answers from your spouse, reach out to them and show them you’re truly interested by not accepting the routine answers. Take a genuine notice in what they’re doing. Ask specifically about how their meeting went or how the important call with so-and-so went. Take a vested interest in what they’re doing and reach out to them by asking about things that are important to them. Make a resolution to reach out to them more often and take an interest in what they’re doing.
Repair a Wound
When you got married, you made a vow to love each other “in sickness and health, for richer or poorer, ’til death do you part”. And it doesn’t take long after marriage before something comes along that tests that vow. And a lot of times we’re the offending party – not our spouse. So as you think about new years resolutions, think about a wound you’ve caused that you can help resolve by giving a simple apology. It doesn’t need to be mind shattering or accompanied with a fancy gift. A simple “sorry”. will do. You’ll be surprised how far this will go and how much will mean to your spouse. You’ll also be surprised how much closer this simple act can make you feel as a couple.
Become Closer by Being More Vulnerable
Everyone’s heard that a spouse is someone who you can share your most intimate and personal moments with. The thought of this creates a feeling of safety and connection because you can be yourself – warts and all – and your spouse will still love you anyway. Unfortunately, regardless of how safe and connected you already feel with your spouse, when you look deep inside yourself you’ll see that you still hold back in a lot of situations. For example, maybe you’re embarrassed to tell them certain things that happened before you met or maybe you don’t make love to them with your eyes open very often. No matter how close you feel you are, you can always be closer. And the way to become closer is to become more vulnerable. As you become more vulnerable you become more disclosing. And the more disclosing you are the more you share personal things about yourself. And the more you share yourself personally with your spouse, the closer and more connected you feel. What a great a way to start the new year!
Focus on Nurturing Your Relationship More
You spend thousands of dollars a year on your house or car to keep it maintained but when was the last time you read a relationship book? The funny thing about this is that if you’re like most people, you probably think your spouse is more important than your house or your car. So this year, focus more on nurturing your relationship with your spouse. Go out on dates more often, go on vacations just the two of you or buy a relationship book and read it together.
The New Year is a great time to re-calibrate your internal compass and make resolutions for things that will make the coming year better than the last one. And these relationship resolutions will be sure to help you create a stronger more meaningful relationship for the new year and grow your relationship for years to come!