Reasons Why Being Married to a Therapist is Awesome

Recently someone mentioned to me it must be hard to date as a therapist. I kindly grinned and said something along the lines of “it takes a special person to date a mental health professional”. However, this statement got me thinking…why wouldn’t someone want to be with a therapist?

Sure, there’s a lot of worry that you’ll always be analyzed, but let me let you in on a little secret: therapists are not analyzing, reading your mind, or diagnosing you every day, once in a while, or even ever for that matter.  The last thing most therapists want to do in their personal life is work. We spend all day assessing, diagnosing, talking people down from the edge, and facing one crisis after another – we really have no desire to drag that into an intimate relationship.

With that out of the way, now, there are some really great reasons that someone would want to date and marry a therapist. Here are four:

Why it’s Awesome to Date/Marry a Therapist

 

1. They’re Relational. Relational is one word regularly used to describe therapists and how they interact in their personal relationships. Therapists express kindness, openness, patience, and the ability to listen and be heard by those they are close to. Therapists also tend to have meaningful close relationships where they feel supported. Marriage and family therapists tend to create closer bonds and intimacy with their partners. Therapists generally have this ability to relate – not because they have been in similar circumstances. Rather, they have the ability to look objectively at a situation or circumstance and understand where one is at.

2. They’re Self-Aware. Therapists have spent thousands of dollars on classes and text books directly challenging every ounce of their identity and who they are. If I had a dime for every self-awareness journal, project, paper, and yada yada yada…I would retire! We know what we like, don’t like, what we need, and what will send us in a fit of rage. Wait…therapists don’t rage! Therapists know when they need to care for themselves and when recharges their battery in life.  They know how to take responsibility for themselves without making it the responsibility of their partners.

3. They’re Sexual. Within the context of training to be a well-adapted therapist, most have had to take one or multiple classes related to sexuality. Now, these classes are not your typical ‘birds and the bee’s’ sex ed. These classes are designed to fling open the doors of sex into biological, physical, visual, fantasy, X-rated, fetish, and so much more. Sex classes build on the therapist’s self-awareness and their own desire and intimacy. Usually sexual topics can be uncomfortable, stigmatized, or private, but a therapist accepts these topics with openness and curiosity. Thus, spicing up the bedroom, kitchen, or parking lot on a rainy evening is rarely challenging. Therapists know how to create an atmosphere of safety…which promotes sexuality and sexual expression.

4. They’re Looking For Fun. Sitting in an office for hours on end listening, remaining stoically objective (said with a hint of sarcasm), typing on a computer and completing administrative tasks lead to a burning desire for adventure. Each therapist, not only in my personal circle, but also of those interviewed have hobbies and a social life riddled with laughter, fun and excitement. For example, road biking across the state of Colorado and camping under the stars with a group of friends; compete on a roller derby team; hiked most of Colorado’s 14 thousand foot peaks; compete in horsemanship; travel the world (well…several parts of it); brew beer; dominate at trivia night; and more. However, this does not mean there are no dull moments. Therapists are fully aware of how to balance between down time and fun time.

For those who have been skeptic about the dating life of someone in the mental health sciences, I hope you have a new perspective.

 

Tristan Beymer is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and marriage and family counselor at The Marriage and Family Clinic in Denver, CO. She specializes in helping couples rebuild their relationship to be strong, healthy and passionate. She also works with individuals to overcome difficulties related to trauma and addictions. 

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5 Responses to Reasons Why Being Married to a Therapist is Awesome

    • uh…probably not. In fact, definitely not. There would always be questions about her lack of bias and you may not be as open as you’d need to be for therapeutic benefit because she’s your ex.

  1. if i wanted to peruse a career in this filled… what do i applu for. i want to be exactly trrstan beymer is . (what are the college majors or degrees do i need, courses etc…?

    • Hi Kiara, Congratulations on your decision to join a great field. As for education, a psychology or family science undergraduate degree is recommended. IF you want to be a marriage counselor, I would recommend a degree in family science as it REALLY emphasizes the family life cycle, family development and other family related things. Then do a degree in Marriage and Family Therapy with a COAMFTE accredited program. Here’s a link to help you find one in whatever area you’re looking for: http://coamfte.org/imis15/COAMFTE/Directory_of_Accredited_Programs/MFT_Training_Programs.aspx

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