Oh boy, oh boy, SEX TOYS! Where to begin? Where to go next? What else is there? All wonderful questions to ask our resident sex therapist right here at The Marriage and Family Clinic in Thornton CO. In celebration of Valentine’s day coming up, we interviewed our sex therapy certified therapist, Hunter English MFT-C to get her thoughts on how people can start their journey into sex toys – solo or with their partner.

“When we talk about sex toys, there’s a lot of variety – and it depends totally on what fun or excitement you want from it” If you’re new to the sex toy world or advanced in our experience, there’s a little something for everyone. Our sex therapist recommends you select toys based on whether you’re a beginner, intermediate or advanced in the sex toy field.

Sex Toys for Beginners

Entering the world of sex toys can be intimidating, no matter what stage in your sexual journey or level of experience. So many people come into my office asking, “where do I start?” “I have no idea what to buy!” To you reader, I want to say, I understand. Sex toy shopping can be completely foreign territory. Do you want something realistic looking? Vibrating? Pulsating? Large? Small? Average? Silicone? Suction base? Dual penetration? Penetration? Superficial? Genital toys? The questions I could present you are endless; you get my point. A lot of people can be intimated or lost in the near endless possibilities that is sex toys.

To start navigating this vast landscape, it’s encouraged you think about what sensation you are looking to experience or are curious about.  A classic bullet vibrator is wonderfully simplistic with quite the punch! If you’re looking for a penetrative toy, you can range from a minimalist dildo, to a rabbit, to dual penetration for you and your partner. For other folks, masturbator sleeves or strokers come in all shapes, speeds and some are even disposable after one use.

Once you’ve selected your toy, it’s important to think about material. Silicone is the most recommended toy material as it’s least likely to result in an allergic reaction, it’s the easiest to clean, and it’s soft and comfortable. It’s encouraged to be thoughtful of what lubricant you want. Water-based lubricants are the most recommended and best suited for silicone toys.

Intermediate

If you are happy with the toys, you have that may be classified as beginner, that is wonderful! It is important to remember that if you are happy and experiencing pleasure, and having fun with yourself and your partner(s), there is no need to buy more toys for the sake of buying more toys. If you are feeling curious and ready to explore new sensations, lets dive in!

For those looking to enhance solo play, think about toys that have app connectivity to increase the customizability or your experience with yourself. You could think about toys that recruit more of your erogenous zones like nipple clamps, small impact or sensory toys like blindfolds, paddles or feathers for inner thighs. Think about rabbit toys that include anal stimulators, or genital toys with higher intensity settings.  This can be a great space to dive into prostate toys like massagers or plugs.

For couples, think about toys that allow customizing your partners experience like remote controlled toys, directive card games, or accessories to touch other areas on the body like mentioned in solo play.

Advanced

It’s important to emphasize that there is no hierarchy in sex toys. What you like is what you like, what you don’t like or aren’t interested in are just that. And that’s equally as wonderful as someone who wants to explore and dive into all the experiences toys can offer.

Advanced users often seek toys that provide unique sensations or cater to specific desires. For instance, electrostimulation toys can offer a thrilling experience for those interested in exploring the interplay of pleasure and sensation. These toys use gentle electrical currents to stimulate nerve endings, creating a tingling sensation that can be incredibly arousing.

For those who enjoy anal play, advanced anal toys such as larger plugs, beads, or vibrating prostate massagers can provide deeper, more intense stimulation. It’s essential to approach these toys with care, using plenty of lubrication and taking your time to ensure comfort and safety.

Couples looking to deepen their connection might explore more complex BDSM equipment, such as suspension systems or intricate bondage gear. These toys require a high level of trust and communication, making them ideal for partners who have established a strong foundation of mutual respect and understanding.

Additionally, advanced users might be interested in custom or luxury toys, crafted from materials like hand-blown glass or polished stainless steel. These toys not only offer unique tactile experiences but also serve as beautiful, artistic expressions of sexuality.

How our certified sex therapist in Thornton CO can help

Not only can toy shopping be overwhelming or evoke feelings of being lost in the endlessness but it can also bring up questions about personal preferences, desires, and even shame and insecurities. When it comes to working our sex therapist, Hunter English a sex therapist in Thornton, CO, Hunter assists you in exploring and navigating ideas and interests based on your unique needs and desires. She’s also versed on what toys there are to help you explore your interests and needs and can point you in directions of toys that maybe you didn’t know existed for your interests and needs. Sites like Adam & Eve are great sites to visit to see what kind of things are out there. You can search for him, for her, and for both.

As a sex therapist, Hunter provides a safe, non-judgmental space to explore your sexual identity, preferences, and any concerns you may have. She helps you demystify the world of sex toys by offering education on different types, materials, and uses, ensuring you make informed decisions that align with your comfort-level and curiosity. This guidance can be particularly valuable if you’re unsure about what might enhance your sexual experiences or if you’re exploring new aspects of your sexuality. are great sites

Moreover, our certified sex therapist can support you in understanding the emotional and relational aspects of incorporating toys into your intimate life. She can facilitate conversations with partners about desires, boundaries, and how to integrate toys in a way that enhances connection and pleasure. This can be especially helpful for couples looking to reignite their spark or explore new dynamics together.

By working with a sex therapist, you gain a deeper understanding of your sexual self, build confidence in your choices, and develop skills to communicate effectively with partners. Ultimately, this support can lead to a more fulfilling and empowered sexual life, where toys are just one of many tools to enhance intimacy and joy.