At the end of each year, many people look back to their New Year’s resolutions. And if you’re like most people, you will say that you missed the mark for achieving your resolution. Don’t let this year be the same! Make this year unique by making and accomplishing a New Year’s resolution with your partner! Before making an achievable couple’s New Year’s resolution, read these 3 tips so that you and your partner have success this coming year!
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Clarify What You Want
Oftentimes, couples come into therapy with vague goals for what they hope to achieve. They just haven’t given much thought into the details of what they want. In order to achieve a New Years’ resolution with your partner, CLARIFY what you and your partner want. Maybe you and your partner want to have more physical intimacy with each other this year. Or maybe you and your partner want to work towards reducing/eliminating debt this year. If one of your resolutions is to increase physical intimacy, you may consider how often you would be intimate; what does it look like when you and your partner are intimate; who is initiating the intimacy; what does “intimacy” even mean? Is it sex, deeper conversations, one person needing to feel more satisfaction, etc. Think about the various aspects of what you want and have a clear idea of what it looks like once you have achieved your resolution. Once you and your partner have clarified what you want, then you have a solid foundation as to what you are working towards.
Hold Each Other Accountable
The great thing about making a couple’s New Year’s resolution is that you are not alone! When you and your partner are working towards the same thing, you have the opportunity to hold each other accountable. Now, this doesn’t mean that you put your partner down if they have a slip-up. Inevitably, we all slip-up now and again. Instead of putting your partner down when they slip-up, help hold them accountable before the slip-ups. Remind your partner of what you are working towards as a couple and point out the strengths that you feel will help them to overcome slip-ups and work towards your goals. Once you and your partner are holding each other accountable for your resolution as a couple, you will be on the road to success!
Support Each Other
This tip is HUGE! It can be difficult to work towards achieving a resolution, which is why most people do not achieve their New Years’ resolutions. When working towards a couple’s New Year’s resolution, you are at an advantage because you have someone who is working towards the same thing and by your side. When you and your partner are struggling to maintain progress towards your resolution, build each other up! One way to do this is by complimenting your partner when they are doing good. When they know they’re doing a good job they’ll want to keep doing them. And do n’t forget to, support each other by celebrating small victories. Any progress is progress. With that in mind, when you and/or your partner achieve a small victory, celebrate it! Celebrations will help you and your partner to feel supported.
Now that you have read these three tips to making and achieving a couple’s New Year’s resolution, it is time to put it to practice! Don’t let this year be a let down in regards to achieving your New Year’s resolution. Get with your partner to make a couple’s resolution, be clear about what you want, hold each other accountable, and support each other throughout the year.
Amanda Cummins is an intern with The Marriage and Family Clinic. She focuses on working with couples in distress as well as families and children in transitions. As a Denver Native, Amanda enjoys hiking, yoga, and spending time with her family.