Is Date Night Really That Important?

Is Date Night Really That Important?


One piece of advice perhaps every couple has heard either from their mom or grandmother or on a card  someone gave them at their wedding is to go on a date night with each other at least once a month. Friends will often bring this up with me when we’re just chit chatting about the weather or their new grill, etc. They’ll say something like “My wife keeps bugging me that we need to do a date night. Is it really that important”? or one of my wife’s friends will ask me “Shouldn’t we be doing  date night or something like that?”

Date Night is a Good Idea For Couples

When anyone asks me whether or not what they heard about doing a date night is good or not, I have to say that no matter where they heard it from going on a date night is sound advice. And it’s very important to the health of your relationship. The reason it’s so important is because couples will often get caught up in the every day tasks of life (re-decorating the living room, doing laundry, running kids to soccer practice, helping with homework, etc) and they forget about themselves as a couple.

smiling couple (3)Date Night Helps You Focus On You as a Couple

Unfortunately, every day tasks seldom include things to do that strengthen your relationship (let’s face it, doing your spouse’s laundry isn’t exactly romantic). They often focus on kids, tasks, chores, etc. As a result, your identity as a spouse and as a couple often gets lost behind the routine chores and everyday tasks. Without knowing it, your relationship becomes bland even though you enjoy life together. You forget about things like talking as grown ups, flirting with each other, etc.

So date night is an essential element to put into your routine as a couple because it allows you to focus on your relationship and on each other in adult ways. If you begin to see your spouse as simply the parent of your children and not as a lover anymore, this is a big sign that you need to start doing something to revamp your relationship. A date night is a good way to revamp it. Start by doing something neither of you have done before. Try going to a comedy club or a restaurant that neither of you have been to before. This helps you get to know each other in new ways and also lets you see your spouse in new ways you haven’t before.

The Most Important Part of Date Night

When you get home, don’t forget the most important part of the night (wink wink). When done right, date night should be a time that both of you feel connected and excited about being with the other. So when you get home light some candles, play some music and both of you put on something special.  Make sure you plan something that’s connecting, electrifying and passionate for both the date and when you get home. Don’t settle for blaze’ sex. This doesn’t help your relationship, either. More about this on another post…

15 Responses to Is Date Night Really That Important?

  1. Great post & topic, Aaron! My partner & I feel very strongly about having date night, so we have it every Friday night. (Impractical for those with children, I realize.) We call it QT with the Cutie Night (QT=quality time). We don't schedule any events with friends those nights except for when it's for some sort of life event for them (birthday, anniversary) & after some time, they've learned to respect the boundary & not take it personally.

    Meanwhile, we don't necessarily do anything that would normally be considered exciting or amazing for date night–sometimes we just stay in, have food delivered, put on our PJs, and enjoy a movie in our theater–but it's something we both look forward to all week. He's a busy doctor; I have a full-time career, in addition to owning & operating two businesses. But, every Friday night the laptops & cell phones get put away & we have a chance to just be us, with no outside distractions.

    I can't recommend having a scheduled date night enough, regardless of how infrequent it may need to be. It's made a huge difference for our relationship!

    BTW-excellent job on the blog!!

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