The Fall season is here and it’s the perfect time to fall in love! Who doesn’t like feeling madly in love with their partner?! More times than not, when you ask couples what the highlight of their relationship was, oftentimes, it’s times from the beginning of the relationship. Why is that? Well, both you and your partner tried harder at the beginning of the relationship and these efforts helped you to not only fall in love with your partner, but get to experience the feelings of being in love. So, what do you do after you and your partner have gotten into a boring place in the relationship? Sure, you love your partner, but do you feel the butterflies when your partner is around? Do you think of them constantly? Do you want to put effort towards making your partner feel loved because they reciprocate that feeling?
Whatever phase of love you and your partner are in, this article is for you! It never hurts to fall deeper in love or fall in love all over again! Check out these tips to fall in love with your partner again and put them to the test.
In any relationship, it is essential that you are self-aware, but also that you build awareness of your partner. First, being self-aware means that you start to pay attention to what your triggers are (what sets off your anger or other negative emotions), what helps you de-escalate or feel calm when you are starting to be triggered, and to consider the impact that your actions and words have on others (i.e. your partner). Ultimately, self-awareness helps you to be able to engage in disagreements more effectively, helps you to positively cope with your emotions and triggers, and helps you to understand the impact that you have on your partner.
Once you have worked towards increasing your own self-awareness, it is important that you work to build awareness of your partner. What happens in your partners day? Do you know their upcoming stressors or current stressors that they are experiencing? What is your partner needing right now, but may not feel comfortable to share? Build your awareness of your partner by starting to get curious about their life. Listen to what they have to share opposed to feeling that you need to have a solution or respond with what is going on for you. Lastly, take some actual actions to show that you care! For example, if you know that your partner is having a stressful day, be there as a support and try to help alleviate their stress rather than add to it.
As mentioned earlier, couples tend to make more efforts in the beginning of the relationship than any other time. What makes your partner feel loved by you? Do you know the answer to this question, or would you be just guessing based on what makes you feel loved? Ask you partner what helps them to feel loved or examples of times when they felt this love from you. People change over time and this includes your partner. What you once thought filled their love bank, may no longer be the case. Once you’ve discovered what you do that filled your partner’s love bank, start making deposits into it! Filling your partner’s love bank can help both you and your partner to feel in love again because you’re going the extra mile to show that you care.
3. Show Interest In What Excites Your Partner
Nobody is the same, and it’s unrealistic to think that you and your partner are going to share ALL of the same interests. What interests does your partner have outside of your interests? How do you show interest in what makes them excited? Get curious about the things that excite your partner and that make the two of you YOUR OWN BEINGS. And most importantly, allow your partner the time and space to do the things that they enjoy outside of you.
It is common for couples’ sex life to change once they have been in a relationship over time. Don’t forget about the importance of sex in your relationship! Remember, that sex will likely change, and that’s ok. Re-approach the topic of sex by asking what your partner likes, what they dislike, and what they might like to try. Show your partner that you’re interested in them physically and sexually by pursuing them now and again. Most importantly, don’t let there be excuses to not have sex. There’s never going to be enough time in the day, you and your partner will always be tired now and again, and there will always be a thousand other distractions. Making sex a priority in your relationship will help you and your partner to fall in love again.
Are you ready to fall in love with your partner again?! Or, are you ready to deepen the feelings of being in love? Whatever phase you are in, these tips can help you and your partner to fall and stay fallen in love. Put these to the test and see how they help you fall in love!
Amanda Cummins is an associate therapist with The Marriage and Family Clinic. She focuses on working with couples in distress as well as families and children in transitions. As a Denver Native, Amanda enjoys hiking, yoga, and spending time with her family