Dating Your Way to a Stronger Relationship

Dating Your Way to a Stronger Relationship

Friday night, Netflix. Saturday night, Netflix. Sunday night, rent…well you know where this is going. Oftentimes when we are married or in a long-term relationship, this is what the pattern of our weekends becomes – mundane and predictable. Unfortunately this boring pattern can spill over into your relationship and before you know it your marriage just feels dull. One way out of this rut is to find creative couples dates to add some spark to your weekends.

Creative Dates Add Spark to Your Relationship

It’s easier than you think, but you will need to do some talking with your partner first. This really won’t take all that long and once it’s done all that’s left is to go out and have some fun. But first, the planning details:
Talk with your spouse about things they’d like to do. Do you have similar hobbies or activities you enjoy? Then plan a date around that. If you’re both athletic, go hiking or go to a rock wall followed by a nice healthy snack at the gyms café. If you’re both into books go to a book store and spend the night browsing and discussing what you find.
As I’ve said before, people change over time. So if you’ve been married a while and now find that you have different interests, don’t sweat it. Take turns planning dates that will introduce your partner to your hobby or fun activity. Maybe you’ll take your wife to your favorite bowling alley and teach her to bowl. When it’s her turn to plan the date you may find yourself at her favorite spa – having a couples massage. His or her “thing” may never actually become YOUR thing but you’ll at least have a better insight into what they find enjoyable…AND you’ll have lots more to talk about afterwards.
When I give this homework in my counseling, I usually find that couples had a REALLY good time watching their spouse fumble trying to do something they’ve never done before. And it gave them both a lot to talk about afterwards. I won’t tell you what they tell me about the sex they had afterwards, you’ll have to find that one out on your own!

Do New Things Together

Do you really, REALLY like doing the same old thing every week? If you’re a couple who likes a lot of predictability, you can STILL turn that up a notch or two. If you’re a couple who routinely goes to the same restaurant, try a different restaurant – or better yet, try different restaurants. You can still go out the same night of the week and avoid changing your routine too much, but you’re still doing something new.

If you’re like a lot of couples, you probably also have sex in the same position (or same positions) and usually at the same time of day, too. It can be nice to have a semi-routine where you know you’re getting lucky but feel free to add a little bit to this, too. If you like the same positions, keep it up but maybe try to make it last longer this time. And if you like like making love the same time of day, maybe try a different position or doing it in a different place in the house. Little changes can make a big difference.

No matter which route you choose, the key here is to be open to explore different ideas not matter how big or small they may be. If you make the planning of your weekly date night (or day!) a regular activity too you may find yourselves having as much fun in planning as in doing!

About the Author

Aaron Anderson is the Director and Lead Therapist at The Marriage and Family Clinic in Denver, Colorado. He’s an avid father, husband and youth soccer coach. He doesn’t have time to write clever bios because he’s way too busy doing one of those things.

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