Celebrate Love With Your Lover

You’d better not be excited about Valentines day!

Can you imagine the backlash from single coworkers, or the Facebook messages you’d get if people knew you were looking forward to putting sincere thought and effort into a holiday contrived by corporations hellbent on forcing us to spend money on overpriced crap that we don’t even need?

It seems like the coolest thing you can do on Valentines day these days is diss it. I mean, heaven forbid you take some time out of your busy schedule to celebrate your most intimate relationships with the most important person in your life. I mean, who wants to make a fuss about love. That’s what weddings are for, am I right? Celebrate Love Over the past few months, I’ve been traveling the country interviewing over 100 couples who are madly in love with each other for my project, The Loveumentary. As I interviewed couple after couple, I noticed a pattern begin to emerge. The happiest lovers spend meaningful time together on a regular basis. Now, let me be clear. There’s a difference between spending time together, and spending meaningful time together. Watching an entire season of Dexter together as you fall asleep on the couch doesn’t count as “meaningful” time. The traditional Friday night dinner-and-a-movie “date” is probably not very meaningful either. I mean, when was the last time you heard a couple say that the foundation of their undying love and affection for each other is a weekly trip to the dollar theater, and their Friends DVD box set? In all honesty, from what I’ve been able to gather, the couples who continually make an effort to

connect – whether it be an impromptu dancing in the rain, running an ultramarathon together, or volunteering to help inner-city kids – are the couples who share the deepest, and most profound connection. Creating that type of connection requires planning, and effort, and thoughtfulness. It requires one to show up every day, and think less of “self,” and more of “other.” It means you stop keeping score, and start watching for opportunities to serve whether you feel it’s being reciprocated or not. It means being grateful, especially for the small things that typically go unnoticed. True love is founded on intentional connection that cannot be obtained by sharing the same couch cushions.

This Valentines Day…

So, this Valentines day, rather than balking at the expensive flowers, the low quality chocolates, and the cheesy cards, why not take the opportunity to raise the bar in your relationship? On the 14th of Februrary, celebrate your love with all the passion and energy and devotion it deserves. Then, do it again on the 15th, the 16th, and the 17th… Keep this up, and you’ll get to experience the type of love that few people know exists. Trust me, I’ve witnessed it first hand. Just remember, your love will grow to the extent that it is nourished.

Nate Bagley is the owner of the Loveumentary. Checkout his podcast for stories from great couples about how they created great relationships

4 Responses to Celebrate Love With Your Lover

  1. I completely agree! It's not only about Valentine's Day … and it's not only about the traditional way to celebrate. You need to celebrate each other and show your partner how special they really are to you in a way that can translate into every day not just one day. Great post!!

  2. Being in love is the easiest full-time job a person can have. If two people love each other, then life is usually easy. If you're not stressing each other out and causing mayhem, then there's a perfect bliss. Valentine's Day is a time to show appreciation. It doesn't mean that you wait until that day to be special, it just means that you refocus your energy into that person to add the "icing on the cake."

  3. Maintaining connectedness with your partner is crucial for long term happiness and success! A hallmark holiday is just that…commercial expectation not intimacy. Love your work on Loveumentary and excited to see you here!

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