You’d better not be excited about Valentines day!
It seems like the coolest thing you can do on Valentines day these days is diss it. I mean, heaven forbid you take some time out of your busy schedule to celebrate your most intimate relationships with the most important person in your life. I mean, who wants to make a fuss about love. That’s what weddings are for, am I right? Celebrate Love Over the past few months, I’ve been traveling the country interviewing over 100 couples who are madly in love with each other for my project, The Loveumentary. As I interviewed couple after couple, I noticed a pattern begin to emerge. The happiest lovers spend meaningful time together on a regular basis. Now, let me be clear. There’s a difference between spending time together, and spending meaningful time together. Watching an entire season of Dexter together as you fall asleep on the couch doesn’t count as “meaningful” time. The traditional Friday night dinner-and-a-movie “date” is probably not very meaningful either. I mean, when was the last time you heard a couple say that the foundation of their undying love and affection for each other is a weekly trip to the dollar theater, and their Friends DVD box set? In all honesty, from what I’ve been able to gather, the couples who continually make an effort to
connect – whether it be an impromptu dancing in the rain, running an ultramarathon together, or volunteering to help inner-city kids – are the couples who share the deepest, and most profound connection. Creating that type of connection requires planning, and effort, and thoughtfulness. It requires one to show up every day, and think less of “self,” and more of “other.” It means you stop keeping score, and start watching for opportunities to serve whether you feel it’s being reciprocated or not. It means being grateful, especially for the small things that typically go unnoticed. True love is founded on intentional connection that cannot be obtained by sharing the same couch cushions.
This Valentines Day…
So, this Valentines day, rather than balking at the expensive flowers, the low quality chocolates, and the cheesy cards, why not take the opportunity to raise the bar in your relationship? On the 14th of Februrary, celebrate your love with all the passion and energy and devotion it deserves. Then, do it again on the 15th, the 16th, and the 17th… Keep this up, and you’ll get to experience the type of love that few people know exists. Trust me, I’ve witnessed it first hand. Just remember, your love will grow to the extent that it is nourished.
Nate Bagley is the owner of the Loveumentary. Checkout his podcast for stories from great couples about how they created great relationships