Category Archives: Lori Dougherty

6 Ways to Spice up the Bedroom

6 Ways to Spice up the Bedroom

As humans, most of us are creatures of habit.  While this is great for meeting the daily demands of our busy schedule, routine in the bedroom can create a sexual rut between you and your partner. Look, no one – I mean no one – wants to know exactly what his or her partner is going to do next in the bedroom.  So, if you can rattle off your sexual routine, it’s time to spice things up.  Read on for tips on how to break out of that boring, habitual sequence and add a little more sizzle between the sheets.

6 Ways to Spice up the Bedroom

1) Don’t Forget the Foreplay. Guys, by now most of you have figured out that it takes a woman longer to reach her moment of bliss than you.  However, even with this information, foreplay seems to be given about as much time and energy as scheduling your next colonoscopy.  Remember, sex is a marathon, not a sprint.  If you want your lady to orgasm, give her a little extra time and attention. Kiss her, hug her, and stimulate her erogenous zones.  Ladies, foreplay is everyone’s job, a little oral stimulation shouldn’t be reserved for special occasions.

2) Put on a Show. Does your partner have a fantasy of you dressed in lingerie or some other sexy outfit? Give him or her what she wants!  Send the kids to the neighbor’s and cook dinner in the nude or in some sexy lingerie that will simulate the visual senses. Men’s and women’s outfits, and accessories get your creative juices flowing.  Your goal is to make sure your partner cannot take his or her eyes off you.

3) Role-play. Play out his or her fantasy.  Start small if you are feeling uncomfortable with your partner’s request.  Remember to pay attention to your sexual boundaries and only engage in acts you are comfortable with.  If you are not into dominating him or indulging in her fantasy, do not push yourself out of your comfort zone.  Talk about your fantasy, answer questions, establish boundaries, and then have some fun.

4) Take It Out of the Bedroom. If you always have sex in the bed, try it against the wall, a chair in Sex should be fun.  It’s okay to mix up the environment and get a little action in the shower or on the living room floor.  If you are worried about the children, you can stick to the bedroom but try to mix it up.
the bedroom, or the kitchen counter.

5) Bring in Props. To bring a little extra spice to your sexual rendezvous, introduce handcuffs, scarves, whips, or vibrators.  How you and your partner decide to play with these toys is completely up to you, but remember to do it in a way that feels safe for both of you.  These little teasers will definitely heighten your sexual encounter.

6) Have a Little Dessert.  At the end of a normal day, bring some whipped cream and chocolate sauce into the bedroom and lick it off your partner.  For some added fun, give your partner full control of spraying the cream or drizzling the chocolate on his or her own body and instructing you where to lick.  If you’re not into the idea of the mess or additional calories before bed, run ice cubes up and down your partner’s body and lick off the water.  The combination of cold and hot is sure to intensify the experience.

As one of my best friends so delicately put it, life’s too short for boring sex.  If you are just going through the motions, remember the kitchen isn’t the only place there should be a little sizzle.  To switch things up, try one or all of these tips.  Just remember, if you are feeling uncomfortable, take things slow and communicate with your partner.  This should be a fun experience for both of you!

Lori Dougherty is a Marriage and Family Counselor at The Marriage and Family Clinic in Denver, CO. As a marriage and family counselor, she helps couples navigate the many difficulties that arise in their relationship. She also helps couples rebuild happiness together so they can have the fulfilling relationship with their partner they’ve always wanted.
Identifying an Eating Disorder in Your Teen

Identifying an Eating Disorder in Your Teen

February hosts National Eating Disorders Awareness week from the 21st through 27th.  While you may think you have an understanding of what an eating disorder “looks like,” try to realize that your TV knowledge is loaded with misconceptions.  Eating disorders are not a disorder one chooses to have; in fact they are compulsive disorders that can… Continue Reading

How Much Sleep Does My Child Really Need?

How Much Sleep Does My Child Really Need?

As a child and adolescent counselor, one of the most common questions I’m asked is, “how much sleep does my child need?”  That’s a great question and one that isn’t easily answered via a quick Google search.  There isn’t a definitive answer, and most articles suggest you should put your children down when they hit… Continue Reading

What to Expect When You’re Adopting

What to Expect When You’re Adopting

Adding an additional member to your family can be an exciting time.  However, when you are adopting, there are a whole new set of challenges you face in comparison to introducing a biological child to your family.  Whatever your reason for deciding to adopt, most adoptive parents’ experiences can be similar, from the beginning process… Continue Reading

Supporting Your Child Through Divorce

Supporting Your Child Through Divorce

While divorce is never easy for adults, it can be so much more painful for the children who may be left feeling overwhelmed by unanswered questions, tension between parents, and confusion regarding the whole process.  Although divorces can span across months, it will span across your child’s lifetime, dividing their holidays, birthdays, and possibly special… Continue Reading

Taming Your Child’s Lizard Brain

Taming Your Child’s Lizard Brain

 I often have parents share with me that their child has “behavioral problems.”  However, a majority of the time, these meltdowns or tantrums are really worry and anxiety manifesting behaviorally.  While a little worrying is normal and necessary to protect us, uncontrollable anxiety can become problematic, impacting a child or adolescent’s emotional, social, and academic… Continue Reading

Establishing A Strong Parent-Teacher Relationship

Establishing A Strong Parent-Teacher Relationship

If school hasn’t already started for your children, it’s right around the corner.  While there are a number of things you can do to help your children be successful this school year – helping with homework, getting them on a schedule, or helping them stay organized – one of the most neglected things you can… Continue Reading

What Are You Nonverbally Communicating?

What Are You Nonverbally Communicating?

I recently spent the weekend visiting my family and while I was watching my nephew play outside, I was also responding to an email.  In that moment, all excited about the the bee in the backyard, he noticed that I wasn’t paying attention; looking up to me with big blue eyes, he innocently asked, “Auntie,… Continue Reading

6 Signs You’re Dating A Narcissist

6 Signs You’re Dating A Narcissist

Narcissists, while exciting, charming, and intelligent, are like tornadoes.  They destroy everything in their path leaving you questioning how you missed the warning signs of the storm.  If you’ve found yourself in more than one relationship with a narcissist, don’t beat yourself up.  It can take time to peel back the wrapper and realize his… Continue Reading

MENU