Category Archives: intimacy

Customize the Story of your Relationship Together

Customize the Story of your Relationship Together

What’s your story? If you’re reading this, it’s likely your story isn’t how you want to tell it. Since we were young, we’ve been led to believe in the Disney, happy-ever-after relationship. Anything short of that is unfulfilling. We think that good marriages mean feeling understood, important, cherished, and attractive, knowing how to talk to each other. But you feel like your marriage does not reflect this. The couples I see usually come in feeling disconnected, like roommates, desperately longing for something more. Counseling is a journey of reconnection. It takes seeing another perspective, learning new ways to talk with your partner, so your partner hears you, and you feel understood and accepted.

New Perspectives

When we live with another person, we can become stagnant in our thinking. We can create a box or story for our partners or feel like our partner doesn’t really see us or understand us. You may even feel like the more you try to explain yourself, the less your partner understands. You have almost lost hope that your partner will see things differently.

Many couples come to see me, telling me that they do not feel understood or heard by their partners. They feel hurt, rejected, and disconnected. When you are hurt, seemingly minor things like the shoes in the middle of the floor or that cluttered drawer become major issues. These minor issues become symbols that your partner no longer cares for you. The happy-ever-after feels gone.

Couples counseling offers a needed shift in perspective. It is very difficult to rise above hurts and frustrations that serve as barriers to truly seeing your partner’s heart. I will help you shift from old ways of thinking that will strengthen and deepen your relationship. We do this by creating a safe emotional space, setting intentions, uncovering, voicing, and aligning assumptions and expectations. This process creates understanding, heals hurts, and provides a roadmap for marital satisfaction.

New Communication Pathways

Mature couple talking together in sofa

I help you uncover why you’re stuck. It is normal to make assumptions in relationships. Many times, we are unconscious of the assumptions we make. We may interpret a look or tone in a way that makes sense to us but may not be what our partner is trying to express. These assumptions can build over time. If left unaddressed, they can cause rifts in your relationship.

In counseling, we work through hidden assumptions and expectations, past pain, and expressing your feelings in a way your partner will understand. These sessions increase intimacy and understanding. Our time together provides you with new tools and practices to understand your partner, mend the wounds, strengthen your commitment, and bring fulfillment to your relationship.

Complicated from COVID

During the COVID pandemic, many couples are experiencing strain and stress in their relationship. Couples come in questioning their relationship, careers, and purpose. Many partners are now working from home, a change with the pandemic. This change has caused boundary issues and frustrations, often intensifying minor marital strains present before the pandemic. The couples I am working with want to use this opportunity to shift their relationship from feeling like roommates into a meaningful, intimate partnership.

Writing your Story

I am here to help you write your custom story together. Together, we will change the lens, looking at things from a new perspective. Together we edit the scripts that are not working, that act as barriers to your communication. Through couples counseling, you have the opportunity to customize the story of your relationship in a way that is meaningful and satisfying to you.

New Year’s Resolutions for Couples

New Year’s Resolutions for Couples

It’s the time of year! A fresh start! A time for you to set new goals and refocus on how you can be the best version of yourself. When we think of New Year’s Resolutions, we often think about creating a gym routine, increasing our emergency fund, or improving our productivity at work. Imagine what… Continue Reading

Why You Shouldn’t be Friends with Your Spouse

Why You Shouldn’t be Friends with Your Spouse

If you’ve ever been to a wedding before, you’ve probably heard someone say something like:  “Today I married my best friend”. Shoot, you’ve probably even seen it on your Facebook page when a friend or relative is announcing their anniversary. They say something like “15 years ago today I married my best friend”. Whether it’s… Continue Reading

What Blocks Intimacy?

What Blocks Intimacy?

Intimacy is important in relationships, and I am not just talking about sex. I am talking about the sense of emotional vulnerability and connection to your partner. But when our relationships are struggling, it can be hard to find that connection. You might not even fight often, but you feel yourself drifting apart. And when… Continue Reading

Low Desire Problems in the Bedroom

Low Desire Problems in the Bedroom

A lot of couples experience difficulties in the bedroom.  And one of the most common problems couples have is mistmatched sexual desire. In other words, when one partner wants sex more and one partner wants sex less. When this happens it can be really frustrating. If you’re the higher desire partner (the partner who wants sex more often), you… Continue Reading

Ways to Invite Intimacy Back Into the Relationship

Ways to Invite Intimacy Back Into the Relationship

You and your spouse are thinking about couples counseling and you find yourself thinking, what’s the point? Neither of you have felt happy in a long time. You don’t spend any time together outside of paying bills and taking care of the kids, and you can’t even remember the last time you’ve had enjoyable sex.… Continue Reading

Bring Back Sex!

Bring Back Sex!

If sex isn’t happening, or if you or your partner are not satisfied with your sex life, there are likely conflicts in the relationship. You’ve heard it before, but being able to be physically intimate and have sex is what distinguishes romantic relationships from other relationships. Considering this, how are you and your partner addressing… Continue Reading

We Have Sex… but No Intimacy

We Have Sex… but No Intimacy

When I ask people about sex and intimacy the answer often reflects a belief that they are one and the same. We believe both to mean the act of sexual intercourse. It’s true that they go hand in hand within a healthy relationship, but they don’t need each other to exist. If you are in a relationship that has no intimacy it feels like… Continue Reading

He Said/She Said: Is it My Fault My Husband Doesn’t Want Sex?

He Said/She Said: Is it My Fault My Husband Doesn’t Want Sex?

Dear Aaron & Rachel, This is a little embarrassing to say but I feel like my husband is uninterested in me sexually. We’ve been married for almost ten years and have two kids together. Our sex life has always been pretty good until about a year ago. There wasn’t anything big that happened, it has… Continue Reading

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