They say laughter is the best medicine. Oh man, that could not be truer! Not only in your personal life or in business, but also in your relationship. Your relationship is completely boring without the occasional laugh. If you are in one of these dull and depressing relationships, then you know exactly what I am talking about. Instead of letting the dull drag on, here are four ways to use laughter and humor to revitalize your relationship!
#1 – Laugh together!
If your partner makes a joke, a silly face, or says something outrageous about their day, then have a laugh! The moment is begging for some humor – allow it to happen! (And of course, you can also initiate the jokes and silliness, too.)
There are a couple reasons why some people don’t laugh in these situations. Women can be conditioned to think that being funny is not acceptable or not “feminine.” Men are also conditioned that laughing is not “manly.” Jeez, if it is not feminine and it is not manly then what is it?? Let go of these social norms and have a laugh together – for the relationship’s sake. Who knows where those stereotypes came from, but don’t let them attack your happiness. Let loose a little bit!
#2 – Release Tension
Don’t only laugh for the reasons listed in #1, but also laugh during the difficult times! Think about your (or your partner’s) usual reaction to a tough situation… Maybe you’re complaining or exaggerating the issues. Possibly even drowning out your sorrows in booze or drugs. Change your reaction next time. Reframe the current problem and have a good laugh about it!
“Dang honey, my day could not have gone worse! I am just glad I saw that parking ticket on my boss’ car coming into work this morning.”
#3 – Bring Happiness and Energy During Tough Times
I already addressed the tension release of #2 but this is a dead horse that has to be beat! When you are going through tough times in your relationship, bring some humor. Having a good laugh about it will bring happiness, a new energy, and invite more ways to resolve the current problem.
Obviously if it is a sore subject or a fresh problem, calibrate your jokes if you can tell that your partner is not receptive to humor at that time. But, as a general rule, a small joke can be applied to nearly every issue that you approach as a couple. Don’t take yourself to seriously!
#4 – Connect
If I had to pick one sign that the relationship is going to move in a positive direction from the first session in therapy, it would be a shared sense of humor. Seeing the couple smile and genuinely laugh (as opposed to a way to brush off serious topics) is a sure sign that they keep a positive attitude and they have a strong connection through the ups and downs of their relationship. Be sure not to use humor as a crutch to avoid serious issues. If you are having trouble with serious conversations in general, check out Aaron Anderson’s blog article about how to become closer when you don’t argue.
Use humor to connect with your spouse and find comfort in knowing you can have a partner to feel comfortable with. Most of us have to be professional in our work spaces. Don’t let your home be another professional or serious space. Add some humor and lightheartedness!
Relationships are dull and boring without humor. Allow yourselves to laugh together and don’t let any social norms stand in your way. Release tension through having some humor in difficult times. With humor, you can bring happiness, energy, and a new way to resolve old issues. Lastly, connect with your spouse through humor and don’t let your home be another boring and serious place.
About The Author
Chris Cummins is a couples counselor at The Marriage and Family Clinic in Denver, Colorado. He focuses on working with with couples in high conflict and who are experiencing substance abuse. Living in Colorado, Chris enjoys hiking traveling and anything else outdoors.