Category Archives: counseling

Lessons to Take With us After Quarantine

Lessons to Take With us After Quarantine

As I’ve been meeting with clients in my practice in Broomfield, Colorado during Covid-19 it’s been hard to miss the impact I’ve seen in my clients during this time. I don’t even have to ask about it because they’re the ones who usually bring it up. In fact, it seems like everywhere I go I hear about the impact social distancing is having on peoples’ physical, mental, and relational health. Coronavirus forced us as a collective, to slow down and to spend more time with our families and ourselves. As a result, social distancing may have brought old wounds to the surface that were ready to be healed. Unhealthy relationship dynamics may have became more apparent, causing you to reach out for the help you needed for some time. Whatever the outcome for you and your family, it is difficult to ignore the lessons that social distancing taught us. Let’s take some time to explore these lessons and consider those that we would like to take with us as life returns to (somewhat) normal.

Slow Down!

We live in a face-paced society that values productivity and career success over individual and relational wellness. In other words, coronavirus may have resulted in the vacation that you never asked for. External factors that you once placed your self worth in, including your career, earnings, and hobbies may have been stripped away from you. For instance, many of individuals I spoke to, reported experiencing an identity crisis of sorts. When distractions are eliminated, it can lead to a flood of emotions that have been building up over time.

What’s the lesson here? Continue to make space for solitude. Space and silence allows you to take an honest look at your well being and yourself. Are you showing up in the world according to your values? Are you putting time and energy into your relationships? What activities can you engage in to improve your quality of life? In conclusion, solitude can help point us in the direction of happiness and fulfillment.

Nurture your Relationships

Relationships don’t heal themselves! This is a truth that many of us don’t want to confront. I often hear the phrase “time is the best medicine”. I do not think this applies to relationships! Why? If an issues in a relationships is not addressed, it often causes emotions to build up and eventually a big blow-up or resentment. Therefore, for many of my clients, social distancing caused old unhealthy patterns to resurface.

What is the lesson here? Intentionality is key in relationships! Life gets busy. We get tired. There are distractions everywhere. However, if you keep minimizing or denying the issues in your relationship, it is likely that they will not be addressed until it is too late. So be intentional, make time, and be willing to be uncomfortable. All in all, research shows that healthy relationships are correlated with lower rates of anxiety and depression.

Flexibility = Resilience

The individuals I’ve seen struggle the most with social distancing are those who refuse to accept it as the new norm and try to “wait it out”. After making this observation, I decided to do some research. I stumbled upon a podcast discussing the correlation between resilience and flexibility. Flexibility can occur both in thoughts and actions. For example, you may have reframed social distancing as an opportunity to reconnect with friends and family that you previously lost touch with (thoughts). In addition, you used your extra time to engage in a new hobby or pursue additional training to accelerate your career (actions). What’s the lesson here? Open mindedness and considering unusual solutions can lead to reduced suffering in the midst of crisis.

Online counseling for betrayalAbout the Author:

Michaela Standhart is a Marriage and Family Therapist Candidate. She specializes in couples therapy, betrayal trauma, and works with adolescent as young as 12 years old. Michaela stays sane while practicing social distancing by reminding herself how happy her dog is.

How to Stay Sane While Practicing Social Distancing

How to Stay Sane While Practicing Social Distancing

Thus far, the majority of our conversations about COVID-19 have focused on physical health and how to prevent this disease from spreading. But if you’re like most people, covid-19 has you feeling a little nervous, too. As a therapist, I know that mental health is just as important to consider in these uncertain times. Anxieties… Continue Reading

What your Therapist REALLY Thinks About You

What your Therapist REALLY Thinks About You

When you go to counseling, your therapist is mandated to keep what you talk about confidential. So people sit on our couches and tell us their deepest, darkest secrets. They tell us the most embarrassing things they don’t want anyone else to know about. I’ve heard stories about incest, abuse, affairs, and illegitimate love children nobody… Continue Reading

Should I Stay or Should I Go?: 3 Questions to Ask Before Ending your Marriage

Should I Stay or Should I Go?: 3 Questions to Ask Before Ending your Marriage

You got married thinking…no…knowing that this is it! There was no better person for you in this world. The love that you felt the day you said “I do” was going to last forever. And now, that love seems like such a distant memory. You find yourself wondering if it was ever real or was it a figment… Continue Reading

Mental Health and Your Child- Part 4: The Parent/Therapist Partnership

Mental Health and Your Child- Part 4: The Parent/Therapist Partnership

  Making the decision to seek counseling for your child can be overwhelming. In part 1 of this series, we talked about how and where to find a good therapist and in part 2 we covered finding a good fit for you, your child, and your family. And in our most recent section we covered… Continue Reading

Mental Health and Your Child Part 1: Finding a Therapist

Mental Health and Your Child Part 1: Finding a Therapist

Making the decision to take your child to counseling can be overwhelming. Mental health care can be tough to navigate with its many options and can be intimidating for families just starting down this path. In this series, I’ll attempt to clarify some questions that come up most often when families decide to seek support… Continue Reading

Five Family Therapy Exercises You Don’t Need Therapy to Do

The first couple sessions of family counseling can be difficult as you navigate a new relationship with a counselor and share your families’ struggles. Once in family counseling all of that hard work clears a path for new ways of communicating and re-building those relationships that you have missed. But as a family counselor, I… Continue Reading

How To Talk To Your Child About Going to Counseling

Going to counseling can be a scary idea for anyone. Call it therapy and that makes it even scarier. Your child might feel worried, scared, anxious, angry, and more about going to counseling. Depending on your reasons for seeking counseling, your child might not have been involved in the decision to go, magnifying these emotions… Continue Reading

Five Signs That You Need to See a Marriage Counselor

Five Signs That You Need to See a Marriage Counselor

Couples always try wait it out before seeing a marriage counselor. But when the pain becomes too much, they finally relent and go see one. The problem with this is that by the time couples finally go, there’s been so much pain and so much damage from waiting that it just makes it harder to… Continue Reading

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