Category Archives: connection

Staying Connected with your Partner During COVID-19

Staying Connected with your Partner During COVID-19

In conversations with my clients I have heard one of two things, either COVID-19 has made them feel closer than ever to their partner, or it has put a tremendous strain on their relationship. Maybe you and your partner are learning to balance working from home and homeschooling your children. Perhaps you are an extravert, who is now relying solely on your introverted partner to meet your need for social connection. It could be that you are used to going to the gym after work to decompress before returning home to your spouse, and you have noticed that you are more irritable. Whatever your circumstances, it is certain that your relationship has changed as a result of COVID-19. Here are some tips to help you and your partner stay connected amid these changes.

Do not ignore problems!

If issues arise in your relationship during social distancing, it may be tempting to avoid talking about them as to not rock the boat. However, avoiding difficult conversations can result in resentment, bitterness, and disconnection. Furthermore, it may be easy to blame your relationship issues on the extenuating circumstances of COVID-19. You may be hopeful that your relationship issues will disappear when social distancing guidelines relax. Take a moment to be honest with yourself! Were these issues present in your relationship prior to COVID-19? Are these issues simply exacerbated by being in close quarters? If you answered yes to these questions, it is likely that your relationship issues will remain when life returns to normal. Feeling stuck? Remember, many therapist are offering confidential online therapy sessions that can be done from the comfort (and safety) of your home.

boring marriageMore Time does not mean Quality Time

Yes, you and your partner have PLENTY of time together. But, are you using that time to connect and nurture emotional intimacy? Make time to get to know your partner’s world by remaining curious about them. You may assume that you know most of what happened throughout their day, but that is likely not the case. How are they coping with social distancing? What do they miss most about working from the office? What have they want to take away from the experience of COVID-19? If you and your partner struggle with more intimate conversations, apps such as Gottman Card Decks can help you dig deeper and learn something new about your partner.

Proactive Communication

Let’s face it, your partner can’t read your mind no matter how much as you might want them to. If you are not used to working from home, it is likely that your partner does not know the ins and outs of your workday. They may not know what times of day are most stressful for you or when you take breaks throughout the day to stay centered. In order to effectively make this transition, it may be helpful to communicate proactively. Try having a short meeting with your partner each morning, sharing your agendas for the day how you can best support each other. Try to be as clear as possible to avoid frustration or disappointment.

Westminster marriage counselor Michaela StandhartAbout the Author:

Michaela Standhart is a Marriage and Family Therapist Candidate. She specializes in couples therapy, betrayal trauma, and works with adolescent as young as 12 years old. Michaela stays sane while practicing social distancing by reminding herself how happy her dog is.

How to Stay Sane While Practicing Social Distancing

How to Stay Sane While Practicing Social Distancing

Thus far, the majority of our conversations about COVID-19 have focused on physical health and how to prevent this disease from spreading. But if you’re like most people, covid-19 has you feeling a little nervous, too. As a therapist, I know that mental health is just as important to consider in these uncertain times. Anxieties… Continue Reading

Self-Love: It’s More than You Think!

Self-Love: It’s More than You Think!

When I ask my clients what self-love means to them, they often respond with the words selfishness, arrogance, and self-absorption. With Valentine’s Day approaching, decided to take some time to define this term and give readers the opportunity to look honestly at themselves and their behaviors. Below are some suggestions for how you can start… Continue Reading

New Year’s Resolutions for Couples

New Year’s Resolutions for Couples

It’s the time of year! A fresh start! A time for you to set new goals and refocus on how you can be the best version of yourself. When we think of New Year’s Resolutions, we often think about creating a gym routine, increasing our emergency fund, or improving our productivity at work. Imagine what… Continue Reading

How to Maintain Balance During the Holiday Season

How to Maintain Balance During the Holiday Season

A pattern that I have observed within my clients and myself is using the holidays as an excuse for overindulgence. However, behaviors such as overeating, binge drinking, excessive spending, and failing to maintain interpersonal boundaries can lead to us feeling fatigued and out of balance as we enter the new year. Here are some self-care… Continue Reading

A Therapist’s Tips To Increasing Connection

A Therapist’s Tips To Increasing Connection

If you’re in a romantic relationship, you have likely noticed that there are moments in which your connection physically and emotionally with your partner increases and decreases. This tends to be based on different periods or phases in your relationship. Although it is common for emotional and physical connection to fluctuate, there are things that… Continue Reading

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