I’ve been married 20 years and we have two children together. A few months ago, I found out my wife has been chatting with other guys on Facebook messenger. Some of them are longtime friends and others she just recently met on Facebook. They use words like “my love,” “honey,” etc. I talked to her about it when I first found out, but she said there’s nothing wrong because she doesn’t say these sweet things back; so she refused to stop talking to them.
Then a month ago I found out she was also on Meetme. She has been talking to several guys and talks with them pretty regularly (at least once a week). After my strong complaints she stopped chatting on Meetme but she’s still chatting on Facebook and still says nothing is wrong. Is there something wrong with her chatting online with other guys or am I taking crazy pills?
First off, don’t worry: You aren’t crazy. Social media is negatively impacting many modern day relationships and marriages. If your wife continues to seek attention from other men despite your discomfort with it, your relationship can really suffer.
Do you know why she feels the need to communicate with them? Is there something missing from your relationship that she’s getting in this communication with others? You definitely should have a heart to heart about this. Don’t be concerned about what other people think about this. Every couple has to make up their own rules and figure out the boundaries they are comfortable with. What works for one couple may not work for the rest.
The point is: If this is a problem for you, it’s a problem for the relationship. Your wife should not want to hurt you.
About Aaron: Aaron Anderson is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Director of The Marriage and Family Clinic in Denver, Colorado and writer for various websites on marriage and relationships.