Category Archives: balance

Finding Alone Time During COVID

Finding Alone Time During COVID

Finding alone time is important But that can be really difficult in the age of social distancing where you work, relax, and hangout all in the same spot with your family or roommates.  While some people are struggling with isolation, it can be hard to find time alone if you live with family or a significant other.  So here are a couple thoughts on finding time to yourself.   

Respect Boundaries 

It is important to set up boundaries around alone time, since we are all a little bit more in each other’s space than usual.  So be sure to have conversations about what each of your needs are around alone time.  You need to have these conversations regardless of how well you know each other.  This is a situation that you have never been in before.   

And do not encroach on each other’s time.  Obviously, once you know each other’s boundaries you do not want to cross any lines.  If you have kids, make sure to give each other breaks.  It would be too easy to never really have a moment with the kids always needing something.  One of you take the kids for a while, and make sure you actually each get time to yourself.  Here is an article on finding alone time as a parent.   

Do Something 

Do something with your alone time that recharges you.  I think that the term “self-care” has often just become a shorthand for being lazy.  It might sound counterintuitive, but being completely passive is most likely going to make that worn out feeling worse.  We all need lazy days But if you are feeling tired, zoning out in front of the tv is probably not going to re-energize you.   

Work on that fun project that you have been putting off.  Exercise, get your blood flowing a bit. Dive into one of your hobbies that you do not normally get to spend much time on.  Time itself is good, but you also want to make sure that you get what you need out of that time.   

Plan for Alone Time 

Last, and this might sound obvious, but plan your time alone.  Life can be hectic and crazy.  In my experience, I do not find time for anything.  Time has to be made.  So that means I cannot wait until it is convenient to take care of myself.  I have to make the time.  It does not always mean relaxing and having fun doing whatever you want.  Real self-care is a matter of priorities. 

Think about it in terms of anything that requires upkeep.  Cars require routine maintenance.  Bike parts need to be replaced from time to time.  Sometimes real self-care involves putting in a little work.  It is more than just relaxing.  Sometimes, self-care is a conscious effort to do something that you know is good for you.   So it might actually take some work, but plan when you will have alone time. 

If you are looking for help during these strange times give The Marriage & Family Clinic a call.   

About the Author

Ryan Hicks is a licensed therapist and marriage counselor at The Marriage and Family Clinic in Denver, Colorado. He specializes in working with couples in high conflict and working with couples in the LGBTQ community. When he’s not working with couples, you’ll find him rock climbing or taking in the great outdoors of Colorado

Staying Connected with your Partner During COVID-19

Staying Connected with your Partner During COVID-19

In conversations with my clients I have heard one of two things, either COVID-19 has made them feel closer than ever to their partner, or it has put a tremendous strain on their relationship. Maybe you and your partner are learning to balance working from home and homeschooling your children. Perhaps you are an extravert,… Continue Reading

Self-Love: It’s More than You Think!

Self-Love: It’s More than You Think!

When I ask my clients what self-love means to them, they often respond with the words selfishness, arrogance, and self-absorption. With Valentine’s Day approaching, decided to take some time to define this term and give readers the opportunity to look honestly at themselves and their behaviors. Below are some suggestions for how you can start… Continue Reading

How to Maintain Balance During the Holiday Season

How to Maintain Balance During the Holiday Season

A pattern that I have observed within my clients and myself is using the holidays as an excuse for overindulgence. However, behaviors such as overeating, binge drinking, excessive spending, and failing to maintain interpersonal boundaries can lead to us feeling fatigued and out of balance as we enter the new year. Here are some self-care… Continue Reading

Start Your Year With an Early Spring Cleaning in Your Marriage

Start Your Year With an Early Spring Cleaning in Your Marriage

New year, new life! isn’t the expectation? We make plans for what we want to change and what we want to keep for the new year. When spring time is about to start we get energized to clean up the clutter in our lives. Also because no one wants to do anything in the winter.… Continue Reading

The Art of Balance: Managing Your Work and Family Life

The Art of Balance: Managing Your Work and Family Life

In the average day, most working parents are forced to choose between numerous priorities that fill their schedule.  However, as you may have found, there are days when 24 hours isn’t enough time to meet all these demands and you find yourself pulled in different directions.  Do you miss date night so you can work… Continue Reading

Tips to Finally Stop Your Toxic Relationships

Tips to Finally Stop Your Toxic Relationships

For most of us, relationships are our foundation; they give our life purpose and meaning.  But not all relationships are positive.  If you’ve ever been in a toxic relationship, you understand the damage they can do.  Your self-worth is challenged by the other person’s criticalness, you often feel judged, and you feel used.  While you… Continue Reading

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