Do you notice that you become easily overwhelmed during conflict? Is it common for you to withdraw emotionally or physically when conflict becomes escalated? Do you walk away, keep yourself busy, or even leave your home in order to avoid your partner when they are upset? If so, you may be with stonewalling. Stonewalling occurs… Continue Reading
I have found working with couples that when I hear “intimacy issues,” most of the time that means sex. Disconnection in the bedroom is very common in long-term relationships. One person wants sex more, the other wants it less. When you do have sex, it might feel robotic or mechanical. And it can feel isolating.… Continue Reading
One of the most common reasons couples come to see me for counseling is because they fight a lot. But perhaps the second most common reason couples come to see me is because they don’t fight at all. That’s right. Couples come to see me because they don’t fight. No, they don’t sit down on my… Continue Reading
A few weeks ago I wrote about dealing with relationship stress when your partner is busy. So what if you are the person who is too busy for their relationship? Maybe you have a high pressure job which requires long hours. Or it could be that your social calendar keeps you in motion all the… Continue Reading
Realizing that you are not as close to your partner as you used to be is scary. It is hard to even figure out how it started sometimes. But one day you just realize that it has been months since you went on a date, or had sex, or even just talked about your feelings.… Continue Reading
Trust is a fundamental component of a connected and thriving relationship. Trust allows us to open up with our partner and share more vulnerable parts of ourselves. But how to do you rebuild trust when it has been violated? When couples enter my office after a betrayal, they are often confused about where to begin.… Continue Reading
If you’ve ever been to a wedding before, you’ve probably heard someone say something like: “Today I married my best friend”. Shoot, you’ve probably even seen it on your Facebook page when a friend or relative is announcing their anniversary. They say something like “15 years ago today I married my best friend”. Whether it’s… Continue Reading
It is pretty common for couples to have a hard time managing their time. Just by the nature of things, one of you will tend to have a busier schedule than the other. It can be endlessly frustrating to have a partner who is always working or has a high pressure job. It can feel like they never have time, but you know it… Continue Reading
Sometimes, it can feel like you are spinning your wheels in your relationship. You know you have reacted in a way that you are not proud of, and promise yourself you will do something different next time. But then it happens again, and it feels like a switch just flipped. Having been through abuse or… Continue Reading
When you first get married you go out of your way a lot for your spouse. You will stop by their work and bring them something they forgot, you’ll forego going to your parents’ house on holidays so that your spouse can go to theirs. You’ll even let some things go that you used to… Continue Reading