Author Archives: Amanda Cummins

Time To Spring Clean Your Relationship

Time To Spring Clean Your Relationship

Spring is here and love is in the air! With the Spring season officially here, it’s time to Spring Clean your relationship. You know how it goes, Winter has a tendency to bring us down; maybe there’s old, unresolved conflicts between you and your partner; or maybe, your relationship is starting to feel boring and stagnant.
Read below for this year’s tips to Spring Clean your relationship to get it back on track!

Clean Up The Old

Are you and your partner carrying around unresolved conflicts? Or, does this show-up by having the same fights over and over again? If so, it’s time to clean up the old! To start this process, identify why a certain conflict or conflicts have yet to be resolved. Are you and your partner getting stuck in the details? When couples struggle to resolve conflicts, it’s likely due to arguing about details of something that happened (which you won’t change each other’s perceptions), or you’re getting stuck in an attack/defensiveness cycle.

Change your approach to addressing unresolved conflict(s) by starting to ask yourselves what you would like to accomplish. What does a solution look like? How can both you and your partner communicate your feelings about the situation rather than trying to change each other’s perceptions around what happened. Once you and your partner start asking yourselves these questions, it will be easier to clean up the old to open the door for new opportunities this Spring season.

Refresh Intimacy

How is intimacy between you and your partner? When is the last time you felt passion in your relationship? An essential part to Spring Cleaning your relationship is refreshing your relationship by enhancing your intimacy, passion, and sex life.

To start refreshing intimacy, start thinking about what you would like to start doing with your partner intimately. Are you taking the initiative to express physical affection or physical attraction towards them? If not, now’s the time to start!

Start expressing physical interest in your partner so that they know you’re still into them! Send your partner flirtatious messages, reach out physically for them, and compliment them. Next, start having conversations with your partner about intimacy and sex to kick up the bedroom another notch. In this, consider when your intimacy has been at its best. What was happening then that you maybe stopped doing over time? How can you bring this back to the relationship? Once you start doing these things and asking yourselves these questions, passion and intimacy will inevitably start to grow.

Create A New Normal

When is the last time that you and your partner had a true date night with each other? When you are with each other, are you just being in the same space with each other, or are you truly connecting with one another? A key component to Spring Cleaning your relationship is forming new habits- we have to stop the habits that aren’t working for your relationship.

Don’t get stuck in the same cycle you’ve been in. Start increasing the number of date nights, start opening lines of communication, work towards appreciating each other, and start routinely checking-in with one another emotionally. How do you go about this?

Well, sit down with your partner. Delegate how many times date night/quality time as a couple is needed and schedule this! Open lines of communication by starting to ask each other about your days, who each other is as an individual, and make sure that you’re practicing honesty. Appreciate one another by vocalizing when your partner does something that resonates well for you (big or small). And last, regularly check-in with your partner about how they are emotionally. Practice listening in these moments to create an empathetic space and offer support when you can.

Are you ready to Spring Clean your relationship? New seasons hold opportunities and hope for a new chapter. Let this Spring be one with resolved conflicts, enhanced intimacy, and a new normal to help your relationship thrive.

About the Author

Amanda Cummins is a marriage counselor with The Marriage and Family Clinic. She focuses on working with couples in distress as well as families and children in transitions. As a Denver Native, Amanda enjoys hiking, yoga, and spending time with her family

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