When I got married, I got a lot of marriage advice. I got advice from my parents, friends, grandparents, people I met in the store that I didn’t even know. They would usually tell me the same old trite things: Never go to bed angry, always say I love you, blah, blah, blah. As I look back I realize this bad marriage advice was probably never meant to actually be advice at all. IT was actually more of a conversation maker that creates conversation with someone getting married. It wasn’t actually good advice at all.
Now that I’ve been married ten years and have been a marriage counselor for five years, I have a lot better marriage advice for couples than the same old trite ones you’ve heard before. And this advice works well for couples in all stages of marriage; whether you’re recently engaged or have been married for forty years this advice is great to not only create a happy marriage but create a lasting marriage. The advice is: a couple who makes love together stays together.
Three Kinds of Sex in a Relationship
Sex is a metaphor for your marriage. If the sex is bland and boring, it’s likely that your relationship is bland and boring, too. And if sex is hot and spicy but lacks intimacy, your relationship is probably hot and spicy but lacks intimacy, too. The bedroom and the rest of your relationship are inseparably connected. No matter what the bedroom is like, sex can be broadly categorized into three categories:
1) Screwing & Being Screwed. This is the type of sex where you or your partner just want to get off. The sex is fun and can be hot but it’s not very romantic or connecting.
2) Routine Sex. This is the kind of sex that you have because it’s been a while since you did it last and it might be a long time until you get a chance to have a really good romp again. So you just do it because you can.
3) Making Love. This is the romantic, connecting kind of sex. This sex is exciting, connecting and intimate. You usually cuddle and talk afterwards.