One of the most common relationship problems that can crop up in a marriage is when the passion has started to dwindle. This can happen for various reasons like reaching a significant milestone in a relationship or any big changes within the family. It can also happen when a couple gets too comfortable and there’s no effort made on either side to reignite the passion, and so it slowly dies out.
In order to protect a marriage and reignite the spark, couples will need to go the extra mile to fight for their relationship and get it back on track. If you and your partner are committed to keeping the passion alive, upping the ante when it comes to romance and intimacy will turn up the passion a few notches.
What to do when the passion starts to falter?
Get excited to see each other. If you’ve been together for several years, then you might be on a routine schedule that means when both of you get home from work, you barely look up from preparing dinner or surfing the web to greet each other. To change this, start by setting down what you’re doing, go in for a hug and kiss, and sincerely inquire about each other’s day. It only takes a few minutes, but that time shows an appreciation for the other person and a reminder of your daily affection.
Schedule dates. When life gets busy, dates often turn into nights on the couch barely speaking to each other rather than planning a time when the two of you sit down together for a dinner, a concert, or a movie and just enjoy being in the presence of each other’s company. Having a standing date night at least one night a week where each of you alternate planning can help spark some of the original passion. Make it fun with flowers, getting dressed up, and exploring new places together. Want to go the extra mile? Create a sign or an upcoming anniversary or other special occasion to document the event and make it memorable.
Put in more effort. You may be so comfortable with each other that you don’t find the need to take care of yourself physically. While looks shouldn’t matter, they do. Not only does taking care of your appearance make you feel healthier, it increases your self-confidence, and allows you to feel desirable again. You don’t have to go through the extremes of a complete makeover, but wearing something besides sweats or getting a stylish haircut may be the only things you need for that extra boost.
Pour on the compliments. Don’t be insincere, but over time, couples can take each other for granted and forget what made them fall in love in the first place, which are the little things that happened during the initial courtship. Telling your spouse that you’re proud of their recent efforts at work or noticing when they’ve lost weight encourages them to keep trying and gives a surge to their self-esteem.
Become more affectionate. Increasing the amount of passion in a relationship doesn’t only account for the amount of sex you have, but also how intimate and affectionate you are with each other. Hold hands, kiss, and embrace each other often. Set up a romantic evening with a shared bubble bath or a schedule a couple’s massage.
If you want to put the passion back into your marriage, you have to work for it. And, you have to recognize what made it falter to begin with to avoid it happening again.