Humans are sexual creatures. In-bedded deep down in our genetic code is an innate desire to have sex – and not just any kind of sex, really good sex. If everything else were equal and you were given the option to have a relationship with someone who you had great sex with and someone who you didn’t have great sex with, you’d probably choose the person who you could have really great sex with.
Unfortunately, life isn’t always lemon drops and gum drops. And you don’t always have great sex. Life is life and with it comes all sorts of ups and downs. There’s the usual work stress, family stress, children, fighting, etc. With all this you and your partner find yourselves going through sexual highs and lows. And your sex life just isn’t as good as you’d want it to be sometimes. But there are things you can do to make sure that your sex life stays rockin’ no matter what you’re going through.
4 Tips To Keep Your Sex Life Rockin’
1) Forget About Technique, Focus on Foreplay. The actual act of intercourse lasts an average of 5.4 minutes. That’s not nearly long enough to have really great, electrifying sex. Plus, there are only so many things you can do once you ‘get it in’. But before you ‘get it in’, the sky is the limit in both time and style. The really electrifying sex begins with great foreplay and ends with intercourse. So take your time with foreplay. Start in the morning with some deep kissing, then send naughty sexts to each other throughout the day. And once you finally get into the bedroom remember not to rush it. Keep up the foreplay for as long as possible until you both just can’t wait any longer.
2) Give as Much Attention to Your Partner Outside the Bedroom. Sex is an electrifying thing when it’s done right. It creates connection, love, intimacy and passion. But when it’s done wrong you feel unsatisfied, unloved and even used. In order for sex to be done right, you have to have connection and that connection has to be outside the bedroom, too.
When you feel an intimate connection with your partner, you want to express it to each other. The only way you can express that with each other in a way you can’t express it with anyone else is in the bedroom. But if your partner isn’t feeling connection outside the bedroom, they don’t want to connect with you inside the bedroom, either. This isn’t just true for girls, either. Sure, guys will accept sex even if they’re not feeling loved but after a while of not feeling loved, the sex will start to become bland and boring. Then after a while, they’ll stop wanting it as much, too (and so will she). As a result, the bedroom starts to fizzle and so does the relationship. But giving your partner attention outside the bedroom will not only keep the relationship alive, it’ll keep the bedroom alive, too.
3) Try Something New. Depending on their age, the average couple has sex 1-3 times a week. That’s between 52 and 156 times a year. After so many years, doing the same old thing can become pretty mundane and bland. But finding new ways to do it is a great way to keep the spark alive in the bedroom.
Trying new things in the bedroom requires a lot of communication – both inside and out of the bedroom. You have to talk about what kinds positions or toys you want to try, then how you want to try them.This sort of communication is fun, invigorating, and forces you both to really get to know each other in very intimate and personal ways. Even if you don’t end up trying them, just talking about new things creates connection that translates into more fun in the bedroom.
4) Make Time for Sex. At the end of the day you’re just exhausted. You’ve been working, doing house chores, shuttling kids around, etc. So at the end of the day you just want to go to bed. Maybe in the back of your head you think that sex would be nice right now, but you’re just too exhausted. The problem with this is that a few days (or maybe even weeks) go by and you still haven’t done it. And if you have, it was just a semi-quickie to get you through ’til the next time.
Scheduling time for sex means that you make time for good sex (see number one above for the definition of good sex). Think about it, when you were dating you planned time off to go out with each other and deep down you knew you were going to go back to his apartment afterwards and do it. In essence, you were planning on and making time for sex. Carving time out of your calendar for great sex is no different.
There’s More to Sex Than Just Sex
A couples’ sexual relationship is as important as any other area of their relationship. In fact, having a healthy sexual relationship is vital to have a healthy relationship period. And a rockin’ sex life is more than just thinking of kinky and exploratory new ways to ‘do it’. A great sex life begins outside the bedroom before it gets into the bedroom. And once it gets into the bedroom there’s more to it than just doing it. These four tips will help you make sure that your sex life is great inside the bedroom and out. And it will make sure that your sex life stays rockin’ no matter what highs or lows you’re going through.