Research suggest that quality time with your partner can have a positive impact on your individual happiness and satisfaction. Yet, time and time again, couples come to therapy with concerns about not having enough time for quality time – even though they know how important it is. It’s just hard to prioritize quality time when you are busy with work, raising children, running errands, etc. So to help you out, here are 3 tips to make room for quality time and increase ways in which you can improve the quality time that you have with your partner!
1. Be Intentional
First of all, quality time must be intentional. In essence, you create time for the things that you care about. In the therapy room, couples frequently share how they don’t have time to spend with their partner because of other obligations (i.e work or raising children). And I get it! With everything you have going on, It can be stressful to add one more activity in the mix. However, quality time with your partner must be intentional and prioritized – or you’ll never do it. With that being said, be creative! For example, quality time with your spouse could be having a meal together or going for a morning/evening stroll. If time is still a concern, may be you and your partner can stay up a little later for a couple nights a week. Sit down with your partner and decide a time that works for the both of you. And most importantly, stick to what you agree to!
When thinking about an activity to do with your partner, think about something that both you and your partner can enjoy together. Couples share with me stories of how their partner asked them to go do something with them, but it was an activity that they cannot physically do or was something that they dread. Sometimes, your partner may not like the usual go-to hobby and that’s ok! Instead, sit down with your partner and brain storm together. Think about an activity that you can both have fun with. If either one of you don’t like it, you won’t do it. This may mean that you try something new or bring back something that you haven’t done in a while. Either way, make sure that both you and your partner can enjoy the quality time!
With the world at our finger tips, quality time is often interrupted by our electronics. This can be frustrating for both you and your partner as it can disrupt the time that you have carved out to spend with your partner. Moreover, it can be difficult to be fully present when you are distracted by electronics. In order to get the most of your quality time, turn off your cell phone and other electronics! By doing this, you will be able to be fully present. Your partner will see that you are prioritizing quality time and you and your partner will be able to connect with each other in a new way!
Now that you have read 3 tips for quality time with your partner, reach out to your partner! Be intentional in creating time and space for quality time, join with your partner to select an activity that both of you can enjoy, and turn off the electronics in order to be present!
About the Author
Amanda Cummins is an intern with The Marriage and Family Clinic. She focuses on working with couples in distress as well as families and children in transitions. As a Denver Native, Amanda enjoys hiking, yoga, and spending time with her family.